I Kept Moving Forward

#Storytime I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder earlier this year and was distraught. I may make a video about this all later, but if you know me, you know that writing is my favorite form of communication so here we are…

In Sept. of 2018, I quit my full-time job to work Winn Publications full time – or so I thought. What happened is that not only was I struggling to close the deal and get new clients, but I was struggling to keep the lights on in my home.

If you know anything about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs you know that stable home life is necessary to succeed. I was failing. I became depressed and even suicidal at one point when I called home.

I was living in Texas at the time and though I had done a good job of getting a support system in place where I initially didn’t have one, I needed my blood. I needed my family. So I moved back home to California in January.

Because I went to school to become a therapist and had been in therapy before I knew the healing powers of it. But this time therapy broke my heart before I could put me back together again. It broke my heart with this diagnosis that made me feel like I was the problem. – I was never the problem, the problem was bipolar #solutionfocusedtherapy

I grieved friend, I mean I really was torn up about it. I had good days (manic) and bad days (depression). I was anxious and didn’t know why.

Now, I’m not trying to sell religion or convert anyone, but I got involved in the women’s group at my church and that was hope every week to KEEP MOVING FORWARD. My faith in God, my child’s smile, my family’s unconditional love, my friends, my business – they kept me.

Fast forward to Oct. of this year when I received a letter from my therapist telling me I was terminated. I called them as I didn’t understand. They explained that because I am better and am able to manage my disorder that they felt like it was the best action to take. I had also started working full time again and so I couldn’t get to their office soon and phone sessions were becoming more difficult.

Friend, I cried!! I cried because I made it. I cried because I was so happy and so proud of myself for my ability to continue moving forward. I cried because grief is heavy. No matter what the cause of it is, it’s heavy and it’s dark. But I kept moving forward.

I share my story to encourage you to do the same- Keep moving forward.

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